Do Not Set Yourself On Fire
by LadyZotalot
Summary: On a mission with Roy and Wally, Kaldur learns how to manage the boys. Contains slash.


Wally was lazing around as he rested on top of the guard-rail of the balcony that oversaw the factory floor. He rapped his knuckles against the metal railing in the rhythm of a pop song that may have been Katy Perry. Kaldur didn't really keep up with those kinds of things normally and he certainly wasn't about to start now considering the factory was about to be blown to smithereens.

"Kid Flash," he shouted to his friend above. "Disarm it! Now!"

The speedster stopped his musical rendition but didn't show any sign of getting up to save everyone from exploding. "I can't hear you, AL," he shouted down. He motioned to Roy who was roaring some sort of animalistic battle cry as he used the last of his arrows on the onslaught of robots.

The water rose from Aqualad's pack as he propelled himself to Wally's height. "I need you to disarm the bombs," Kaldur ordered.

Wally frowned in apparent confusion. "There's bombs?"

Kaldur tensed and his hazel eyes steeled. "Just do it. _Now_."

"Woah. Chill, man. I was just kidding, okay?" Wally slung his goggles over his green eyes and snapped the elastic band. He tilted his head in the direction of Red Arrow's scuffle. His lenses glowed red as he zoomed in on Roy's location. "Maybe I should go help Roy, first?"

Roy growled while he smashed the lurching robots with his almost empty quiver in order to save his last few arrows. Without another word, Wally jumped over the railing and came to Red Arrow's aid.

"Kid Flash! I can't disarm these in time; you have to follow your ord–" Kaldur didn't finish his sentence before the first bomb went off.

The flashing explosion only charred half of the room to bits. Luckily, it was the half of the room which Kid Flash had scooped Red Arrow safely away from. Kaldur broke his gaze from the second bomb's timer and looked to his teammates. He fanned a stream of water around himself as he made his way out of the building. "It's coming down," he yelled over the sound of scorching debris. "Red, get the robots off us; we're backing out. KF, follow your orders."

Red Arrow shot one more arrow towards one hoard of robots. The arrow sent them tumbling over into the flames. Kaldur corralled another squadron of robots. His jet-stream of water bashed their metal heads in.

Meanwhile, Kid Flash sped over to the remaining bomb. He almost finished disabling it when he got an idea. "Hey, Kal? I'm going to chuck this and make us a new exit!"

"What?" Kaldur asked as he fought. "Just disarm–"

Wally ignored Kaldur. He rigged the bomb and threw it at the far wall. After the smoke died down, he looked to the wall. "Hey, Kal...my new exit is a little bit on fire."

Kaldur panted heavily; his physiology wasn't designed for this type of heat. Besides that, all this physical exertion hadn't helped him monitor his internal temperature.

Roy spoke up when Kaldur didn't. "What the shit did you think would happen, KF?"

Wally looked to his exit. It was more of a fiery death trap than anything else when he thought about it. A metal rigging fell from above the crumbling wall and blocked the exit. "Anything but...that?" he replied.

Roy scoffed. "You should just listen to Kaldur. He _is_ the leader."

"Like you're one to talk! The entire time we were breaking in you were complaining. You just had to remind us that you are the oldest and that you are the only one who's gone solo. And then you said you're the hottest which, firstly, has nothing to do with superheroics and, secondly, is completely false."

"False?" Roy's eyes bulged. "Like _you_ are the hottest!"

"Of course _I'm_ not the hottest," Wally waved his arms at super-speed to cool the flames around his improvised exit, "Kal's the hottest. Right, Kal? Kal?"

Roy and Wally both looked to their teammate. He was on the floor, barely breathing, and sweating from every pore.

"Holy shit!" Kid Flash was at Kaldur's side in an instant. "Kaldur are you okay?" he asked.

The Atlantean gasped for air. "There's...another bomb."

"So...you're not okay," Wally guessed as he looked for a less deadly exit.

* * *

><p>Red Arrow sat on a dock beside the riverfront. He watched as Kid Flash submerged Aqualad into the lapping waters.<p>

Kaldur woke up with a start. He swam to the top and let the water cool him.

Wally bobbed in front of Kal. His face was only inches away from the other teen's own. "Dude, when I said you were hot, I didn't mean you should go set yourself on fire..."

Kaldur pressed his fingers into the center of his forehead. "Ehrg," he mumbled through his headache, "What?"

"I said that I didn't mean for you to do what you did," Wally replied.

"You think I set myself on fire..." Kaldur trailed off. "Nevermind," he wiped the moisture dripping from his chin, "my concern with your actions, Wally."

Wally flicked some water from his bangs. "Is this about the bomb meeting with the wall thing? Because I totally handled that fine."

"You directly disobeyed my order," Kaldur said steadily.

Wally pushed away from his friend. He sat behind Roy on the dock with his back turned to Kaldur. "Stop being all leadery all the time. Live a little," Wally declared. "Just...stay away from the fire."

Roy shook his head. "He's not a pyro, Kid. He didn't set himself on fire. He passed out from the heat."

"Oh," Wally said, suddenly depressed.

Kaldur pulled himself out of the river and up onto the wooden dock. Water rolled off of his body and puddled around him.

"Get your slimy Gotham sludge off of me." Roy jumped away from his dripping friend. "I'm never coming back to this city," he muttered.

"Cool! I get Robin all to myself," Wally cheered. He gazed off into the distance as if expecting the Batboat might suddenly appear on Gotham's brillant green, slimy waters.

Roy gave Wally the evil eye. "You were hitting on Kal less than a second ago."

"Because he's on fire," Wally said. He punctuated his words by pointing to the blonde and miming snuffing out a candle.

"May I remind you, my friend, that you were also insulting me mere moments ago," Kaldur added.

Wally frowned. "I'm sorry, Kal. Your leaderiness is good." He gave Kaldur a quick hug. He jumped away. "Oh, no! You're so smoking that you burn to the touch, hot stuff."

As soon as Wally let go, Roy smirked and grabbed Kaldur by his shoulders. "You know, my friend, if you ever get bored of Kid Nitpick, I _am_ right here…and I would love to take your direct orders." Roy gave an only halfway joking wink as he removed his hands.

Kaldur reflected over his day. He'd had an okay day by his new standards which, after getting blamed for Red Tornado's quasi-betrayal, had been significantly lower than average. Kaldur sighed deeply.

"Oh, man," Wally crawled between Roy and Kal. "I really didn't mean it. I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to get you hurt. I just didn't want to admit that I screwed up. Please don't hate me anymore, Kaldur. You're like my best friend. Well, my best friend after Dick...and maybe Roy...and maybe Linda but only because she let me borrow her cell after I dropped mine down a well which is a very interesting story that I should totally tell you sometime when you're not recovering from a near death experience but I guess we have those every day so really I might as well tell you now. But I won't because it involves Heat Wave setting me on fire and I think that might bring up bad memories under the circumstances," Wally babbled.

Kaldur sighed again because Wally's supersped speech aggravated his growing migraine.

Roy rubbed his leader's upper back supportively. "You're not boring at all," he promised. "If anyone is boring, it's the geezer storyteller here." Roy ignored Wally's angry glare. "Kal, You don't have to prove anything to us if you don't want to."

Kaldur's eyes flashed. "Yes, yes I do." He stood up. "I am not a wet blanket."

"You are wet though," Wally chimed in. "Just like my cell after it fell into the well–"

"I am not just the leader," Kaldur continued. "I can 'live a little' just like anyone else." He grabbed Wally's arm and pulled him up. "And I do not," his webbed hands clenched into fists, "have to set myself on fire to do so."

Wally smiled at his friend's resolution. He placed a hand on Kaldur's shoulder. "You're on fire, baby," he joked. He lowered his hand and patted his friend on the back.

Kaldur responded by placing his own hand on the redhead's shoulder and squeezing in reassurance. "I know," he said with equal resoluteness as before and then he kissed him.

Their lips were both wet with Gotham's dirty water, but it didn't seem to phase either teen. Kaldur's hand crept up from Wally's shoulder until it met his cheek. His fingers writhed against his warm flesh.

Wally took a half step backward as he moaned. He banged into Roy who sat behind him. When Roy shifted out of the way, Wally had nothing and no one to keep him from tripping over the edge. Wally fell backwards into the water and Kaldur followed him, pulled by the arm that Wally refused to unwrap from his torso.

Roy, not one to be left out, jumped in after them. Unfortunately, in his haste he forgot to aim and hit his head on the side of the dock. Kaldur withdrew from Wally and swam down after his friend. He caught Roy in his arms. After dragging the limp body out of the river, the hero started to revive his drowned friend without any hesitation.

Roy regurgitated a few spoonfuls of river water as Kaldur moved his mouth away from his own.

Kaldur frowned. "You don't have to drown yourself to get attention, Roy."

Roy groaned; he shied away as Wally poked at the growing bump on his head.

"Does this hurt?" Wally asked as he prodded him again, this time in his bloodied lip.

"Yes," Roy growled, "what did you think would happen?"

Wally cringed at the sound of his friend's pain. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. Here," Wally brought his lips to Roy's head, "I kissed your ouchie all better."

Kaldur shook his head. "Wally, he's seriously hurt. We can't downplay his injuries. We should get him the proper treatment."

Roy nodded along in agreement. "I could have died," he mumbled as Kaldur inspected his sliced lip.

"I think I know how to fix this." Kaldur brushed his lips on the older boy's hairline where the bruise was beginning to darken. He let Roy take the lead and didn't mind when Roy's roughed up lips were more forceful then Wally's had ever been. Kaldur withdrew from Roy. He smiled. "There. I think that was the right dosage for your pain."

The stars from both the head injury and the kiss were still in Roy's eyes as he glanced towards Wally. "Walls?" he prompted.

"Yes, Roy."

"We should all set Kaldur on fire more often."

"M'kay. Will follow through on those orders without delay, sir." Wally mocked saluted. "It all sounds very hot," Wally smirked before stealing a kiss from Roy's lips as well, "but not as hot as Heat Wave when he pushed me and my cell phone down that wel–"

Kaldur and Roy pushed their friend down into the river.

"Don't worry, Wally!" Roy shouted. "We can always find ways to heat you up after we fish you back out."


End file.
